Recap by guest writer, Christine Bailey.
********************** Spoiler Alert! *************************
I am not certain what it is about weddings in this place, but good Lord! I was not expecting an event like this to happen so soon. …and at a wedding! First, let us begin at the start of the episode before we get to the GOOD stuff.
Ramsay Snow chases down a woman for fun. If she makes it out of the woods, she lives. She does not make it out. An arrow goes through her leg, she falls in a ditch, and the dogs rip her apart. Ramsay soon enough is greeting his father, Roose Bolton, and his new stepmother. Roose is unhappy with Ramsay’s leadership. Once reminded that he is in fact a Snow and nothing else, Ramsay proves his control over Reek through having Reek give him a close shave. He gives him the chance to slit his throat, but Reek just keeps shaving. Roose decides to find Jon Snow and all of the remaining Starks and orders Ramsay to take Moat Cailin from the Greyjoys.
Stannis Baratheon and Melisandre are out on Dragonstone Island with all of their friends having bonfires! Well, maybe not bonfires, but they are up to no good…with fire. They were burning people at the stake who worshipped other Gods other than the Lord of Light. Of course, the only appropriate thing to do after a long day of burning people alive is to have dinner as a family; which they did.
Bran is drawn to a tree that gives him visions when he touches it. He then knows where to go. North.
Tyrion offers Bronn to Jaime as a sword trainer.
King Joffrey is given gifts before the wedding. The second Valyrian sword from Tywin and a book from Tyrion. Joffrey destroys the book with the sword. Classy.
Tyrion sends Shae off kicking and screaming onto a ship bound for a nice life, with a nice house, and a bunch of nice servants. It take a lot of inner strength and horrible insults to get her to leave, but she is soon after being escorted by Bronn to the ship.
It is now time for the event of the season! The wedding of King Joffrey! Oh yeah, and Margaery. This whole wedding seems to be about him. Regardless, the ceremony happens and they are married. That was boring.
Now for the wedding reception! There are people bickering left and right, just like at any other normal family affair. Joffrey is acting inappropriately the whole time while Margaery is trying to keep the peace by refocusing his attention whenever she can. She was kind enough to make the announcement that all of the leftovers from the wedding were going to be given to the poorest in the kingdom, which later on was retracted by Cersei. She would have all of the leftovers given to the dogs. She then calls out Brienne of Tarth on being in love with Jaime. Joffrey has five dwarfs reenact the War of the Five Kings. This display was seen as insensitive and not well received by the guests. Joffrey insults Tyrion, trying to get him to perform. Tyrion Snaps back, and then Joffrey pours wine over his head and forces him to serve him wine.
When Tyrion would not kneel, Joffrey started to get extremely angry. Margaery saved the moment by exclaiming that the pie had arrived. The King takes his sword and splits open the pie, releasing doves from the center. As he is enjoying a piece of the pie with his bride by his side, he notices Tyrion and Sansa trying to slip away. He makes Tyrion bring him another glass of wine. Tyrion hands him the wine…Joffrey dinks the wine…and then he starts choking. Wait. Could it be? The way he is breathing it seems like he was poisoned. Yes! King Joffrey was poisoned! (It is about time.) People call for help as Joffrey falls into his mother’s arms, gagging and convulsing. He reaches out and points towards Tyrion who is picking up the cup and examining it. Cersei has Tyrion detained, believing that he was the culprit.
The last and the most beautiful scene was that of the camera steady on Joffrey’s blue, bloody and lifeless face. I could have stared into his dead eyes all night. But now I have some questions. The most obvious, who poisoned Joffrey? Was it the wine or the pie that was poisoned? If it was the pie, will the dogs die from eating the leftover pie? How can you top killing Joffrey at the BEGINNING of the season?! I guess we can only do one thing. Tune in every Sunday night on HBO.
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