Guest Review by: Christine Bailey
************************* Spoiler Alert! *************************
The episode started in the only appropriate manner that one could ever devise…Joffrey’s dead face staring into ours. I could not get enough before, and apparently neither could they. After delighting us with another thrilling reminder of Joffrey’s demise, Cersei had Tyrion arrested and called out for them to find Sansa. The Fool, Dontos, sneaked Sansa away. He took her to a small row boat and promptly whisked her away to a ship where Littlefinger was waiting for her. We found that Dontos was sent by Littlefinger to retrieve Sansa, and instead of claiming his reward…he got an arrow to the face. Horrified, Sansa argued to understand why he shot a man who was only trying to help her. Littlefinger explained that she is now under suspicion of the murder of King Joffrey and that Dontos would be a risk to talk about his role. He said, “Money buys a man’s silence for a time; A bolt in the heart buys it forever.” He then revealed that he took advantage of her rescuing the Fool from death, made the necklace so he could give it to her and make her sympathetic towards him, and then had Dontos retrieve her after Joffrey croaked. But how did he know that was going to happen? He had everything laid in place to get Sansa out. Did he kill Joffrey and why does he want Sansa? Regardless, he said that she is safe with him and that they would be sailing home. …Hmmm…
Margaery reminisces about her bad luck with husbands. (They seem to die off.) Now that she dodged that bullet…on to the next!
Cersei and Tommen were in the middle of grieving over Joffrey’s body when Tywin waltzed in and decided that it was a decent time to have the “You are the new king” conversation with Tommen. Tywin and Tommen exit as Jaime entered and asked to be alone with Cersei. After some small talk about Joffrey and Tyrion, Jaime forced himself on her. At first she tried to resist the incestuous rape, but then gave in…presumably enjoying herself.
While Arya and the Hound were chilling out under a bridge, a father and daughter rode up on them saying that they are on their land. Arya pities them with a story and the man offers them lodging and a meal for the night. In the morning, Arya woke up to a scream. The Hound just robbed the man. Arya chased after him, demanding an explanation. He told her that the man was weak and could not defend himself. That they would soon be dead, anyway. Still angered, Arya followed the Hound away from the cottage.
Ser Piggy, aka Samwell Tarly, did not feel that Castle black was safe for Gilly and her baby. He took them into town, where he set her up to work in a brothel…but not as a prostitute. She will clean and take care of the other women’s children for a small pay and room and board.
Ser Davos Sent a message to the Officers of the Iron Bank of Bravos in an attempt to gather troops.
Tywin interrupted a fivesome to ask Prince Oberyn to serve as the third judge at Tyrion’s trial after interrogating him about Joffrey’s death. (He studied poisons at the citadel and spoke with Tyrion alone before the wedding.) The Prince told Tywin that he would serve as a judge only if a meeting with the Mountain could be arranged. He was also invited to sit on the council as one of the new King’s principal advisors.
Tyrion’s Squire entered his cell with hidden goods in tow. Tyrion inquired about what people are saying about him and what is being planned. He struggled to find someone to talk to and testify on his behalf. Having many forced to testify against him, he asked the Squire to retrieve Jaime and then told him to get out of Kings Landing; that his life is in danger.
The Thennes and the Wildlings decimate a village. A child was spared and told to run to Castle Black to tell them what had happened there.
Castle Black started to plan on how to deal with the upcoming attack on the wall…which did not seem to go so well.
Daenerys finally made it to Meereen! When they reached their destination, the gates opened to let out a single man on a horse. He is a Champion of Meereen and they were to send out their own Champion to fight against him. After some debate, and repulsion of the Champion’s insults and urination, she decided to let Daario fight. He stood there while Meereen’s Champion charged towards him. When he was close enough, Daario landed a dagger into the horse’s skull and took the horse down. Once the horse was down, Daario slit the man’s throat. Without hesitation, he topped it all off by urinating in front of Meereen. This prompted the soldiers of Meereen to shoot off warning arrows at their feet. Daenerys spoke to the people of Meereen of her army, mentioning that they are all free. She then gave the command to fire barrels from the catapults into the city. Once the barrels broke and the people of Meereen calmed down, they realized that the barrels were filled with collars.
With the exceptions of Joffrey’s lifeless face and the fight between Daario and the Champion of Meereen, not much of anything that could be considered exciting happened in this episode. It has only been filled with events and conversations that will eventually lead us into bigger events and conversations. It has left most of us with many questions. Mainly…who in fun loving Westeros killed Joffrey?! How?! (…no need to ask why, though. Total gimme.) Regardless, we will continue to sit, to wait, and to watch. I doubt we will be disappointed.
