On I-95, the Philadelphia Police Department was pursuing the blue sports car. Two men in the rear of the car peppered the officers with gunfire. The cruisers swerved side to side, avoiding some of the bullets. Unfortunately several cars were severely damaged. They had to break pursuit as smoke billowed from their engines. Guardian joined the chase just as the damaged cruisers pulled to the side of the road. Looking ahead, he spots the blue sports car. “Guess it’s time for me to go and introduce myself.” Guardian picks up speed, closing on the sports car.
Inside the sports car, the three robbers laugh joyfully as they decrease the number of police cruisers down further. Well placed bullets in the tires diverted two more cruisers off the road. “Ha Ha! Yeah! Only two left!” one robber, dressed in dark blue, laughed.
His partner in the grey hooded sweatshirt placed two bullets in the engine of one of the cruiser, sending it to the sidelines of the highway. “Think ya betta count again, Bobby! Now there’s only one!” The grey hooded robber belted out with laughter.
“Then let’s have ‘im join his friends,” Bobby said. Bobby unloaded rounds into the engine, sending shrapnel into the air. Small metallic shards bounce off the windshield. The engine chokes and sputters as it is torn to shreds. The cruiser skids to the shoulder of the road and stops. The two gunmen let out an uproarious laugh as they speed away, leaving the helpless officers behind.
“All pigs cleared off the farm, Uncle Jesse!” Bobby laughed joyously.
“I thought I told ya to stop calling me that!” Jesse shot back. But he was too overjoyed to be mad at Bobby now. “But you’re right, Bobby! I don’t smell any more bacon!” The men climb back into the blue sports car. “Road’s clear from here on out, boys. All we have to do now is meet up with my brother and his guys. Hey Chad, why don’cha play us a tune, huh?” said Jesse.
“Ya got it, Jess,” the driver dressed in black responded. Chad switches on the radio. Hard rock music blared from the speakers. Chad tapped out drum beat on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, this song’s awesome!” Bobby said. He put down his gun to air guitar to the music. Jesse simply bobbed his head, wearing a big grin. While the blue sports car cruised down the highway, a loud thud was heard on the roof. The car bounced briefly. “Hey, watch da potholes, will ya? I’m in the middle of a solo here,” Bobby told Chad.
“Pothole? I didn’t hit any pothole,” Chad said, slightly puzzled.
“Yeah ya did. Stop trying to play off your bad drivin’,” Bobby retorted, still strumming his invisible guitar.
Thump. This time there was no mistaking it. The sound came from the roof.
Bobby stopped his solo. “What was that?” While the men tried to make sense of the thumps on the roof, something caught the corner of Bobby’s eye. He leaned towards the window. On the ground was the shadow of their car along with the silhouette of something on the roof. “Uh, Jess. You betta come look at this,” Bobby said.
Jesse crawls over to Bobby. “What is it, Bob?” The young robber points at the ground. “What the…?” Jesse said looking at the two shadows. He shoots back to his side of the car and grabs his rifle. Bobby does the same.
“What’s goin’ on?” Chad asked once he saw his partners grab their weapons.
“Just keep drivin’!” Jesse ordered. After cocking the assault rifles, the men lean out the windows and look at the roof. Their eyes grew wide with disbelief.
Guardian is sitting on top of the car. He is bobbing his head, humming and drumming in the air as the radio continued to belt out music. His trench coat flapped wildly as the car speed onward. His eyes are closed as he jams on. He is oblivious to the two gunmen who just gawked at him awkwardly, not knowing what to make of the trench-coated man sitting on their car. With the music still playing, Guardian opens his eyes and takes notice to the two robbers. “Man, you guys got an awesome taste in music. This is a great station,” he said smiling.
“Alright wise-guy; I don’t know who you are and I don’t care. But you got five to get off this car!” Jesse said aiming his rifle at Guardian.
Bobby aims his rifle as well, pointing it at Guardian’s head. “Ya betta do it, cowboy. Otherwise we’ll pump ya fulla lead.”
Guardian twisted his face in mock disgust. “Dude, where did you get that? The ‘Gangsters Guide to Cheesy Lines’? Man, that’s lame.”
“Errgh, forget it! Waste him!” Jesse hollered. He and Bobby were ready to squeeze the triggers. Guardian vanished in a flash of lightning before a single shot was fired. “What?!” Jesse said.
“Where’s he go?!” Bobby said surprised.
While Bobby and Jesse searched for their elusive trench-coated target, Chad calls to them. Bobby answers, “What?”
“Are you two lookin’ for a guy wearing a long trench coat and a black hat?” Chad asked. His tone was calm, like a child on punishment.
“How’d ya know that?” Bobby said.
“Cause he’s sittin’ on the hood,” Chad pointed in front of him.
Jesse and Bobby look towards the hood and see Guardian now sitting on it. Bobby quickly became frustrated. “Why that–!” Without thinking, he aims his rifle at Guardian.
“Don’t shoot, ya idiot! You’ll hit the car!” Jesse hollered at him.
Bobby pulls his rifle back once he recognizes the mistake he almost made.
“We gotta get this guy outta here!” he said.
“I’m workin’ on it!” Jesse shot back.
While the two men bantered, Guardian continues to jam on to the music, bouncing his head and tapping his knee in rhythm. A couple moments pass before he actually moves. He places a hand to his ear and makes like he’s listening to something. “Hey guys!” Bobby and Jesse stop their squabbling once they heard Guardian’s voice. “I think there something wrong with your engine. I’ll check it out for ya,” he called out to them.
All three men stared at Guardian dumbfounded. They didn’t know what make of his actions. Guardian stood up on the car’s hood and stepped to the front bumper. Standing on the bumper, he searches for a switch. He finds it and flips the hood open.
“AAH! I can’t see!” Chad was caught by surprise. The open hood completely obscured his ability to see the road. The sports car swerves wildly as Chad spun the steering wheel, trying to see beyond the hood as he made sharp turns.
“Whoa-whoa-whoa! Chad, just keep it straight!” Jesse hollered.
“No-no-no-no! Left! Right! Left! Righ–whoa!” Bobby called out.
Both men kept a white knuckle grip on the roof as the car whipped back and forth across the highway. Guardian held himself firmly on the bumper with no effort, even with the car snapping from one side to the other. He looks over the engine carefully. No other part of the engine interests except for several bolts along the other edges. “Hey! I think I found the problem!” He called to the men. Guardian holds out one hand. He fires a bolt of lightning at each of the large bolt, destroying them completely. These bolt held the engine in the car. With a hard yank, Guardian removes the engine from the sports car, breaking cables and wires as he did so. He slammed the hood shut while holding the engine with one hand.
The three robbers looked at the trench-coated hero wide eyed.
“Did he just–” Bobby and Jesse said. They were in complete disbelief. The young robber and his stout partner stare at the dark hero slack-jawed and bug-eyed.
Chad, on the other hand, managed to hold on to some resolve. “Yep. He just tore out the engine,” he spoke monotone.
Without its engine, the blue car quickly slows down. It slowly coasts to the side of the road. Guardian plants one foot on the ground stopping the car fully while keeping the other foot on the bumper. Guardian stares hard at the bug-eyed robbers. Jesse and his comrades were unable to move or speak. They just stared with mouths agape at a man who just tore a 400 pound engine from a car with his bare hands. Now they were being pushed down by the coldest gaze they had ever seen. Then Guardian broke into a smile. “Had ya going there, didn’t I?” he said zealously. “Well I’d love to stay and chat but there are some friends of yours I just have to meet. I hope they’re as fun as you guys were. Later.” Guardian turns away from the robbers and tosses the engine behind him. It slams onto the hood of the car, crushing it in. Guardian walks a few steps forward before he turns back around and flashes a charismatic smile. “Oh yeah. Rock On!” With a flash of the rock symbol “devil horns”, he takes off into the air.
The bank robbers watched bewilderedly at Guardian as he disappeared out of sight. “Bob,” Jesse said.
“Yeah,” Bobby answered plainly.
“What just happened?”
“Some dude just jammed out on our car and then he ripped out the engine,” Bobby’s voice was flat.
“Oh,” Jesse nodded.
Police sirens were approaching in the distance. “Cops are comin’,” Brad noted.
“Oh,” Jesse replied plainly.
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