“Cheesy Cartoons” goes back to the farm with Barnyard Commandos!!

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Nature is in a constant struggle. Animals fight constantly for supremacy, much like humans do. They bite and claw, growl and snarl. And launch RPGs and fly helicopters. Hey, this is Devildriver1313 and I’m taking you back to the ultimate struggle of nature! Let’s head back to the farm with Barnyard Commandos!

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Barnyard Commandos was based on the Playmates toyline of action figures of the same name released in 1989. The property is based around the concept of farm animals who consumed radioactive materials left over from an abandoned military experiment, mutating them into hyper-intelligent, anthropomorphic paramilitary troops. This consists of two “hilariously harmless” opposing teams: the R.A.M.S. (Rebel Army of Military Sheep) and the P.O.R.K.S. (Platoon of Rebel Killer Swine). An animated series followed the next year that chronicled the battle between the R.A.M.S. and P.O.R.K.S. (sound like rival football teams if you ask me).

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CHEESE FACTOR: The R.A.M.S. and P.O.R.K.S. secret military code based on sheep bleats and Pig Latin was absurd in concept. Codes such as “Laaab-ook Aaaab-out” (Look Out) and “Ee-bay Areful-cay” (Be careful) slowly grew tiresome. True, it suited the animal combatants and concept of the characters but it did tend to annoy when the sheep sound like a stuttering nervous child. Then there’s the obvious names for some of the key characters. The R.A.M.S. names, being sheep, are inspired by various types of sweaters such as Sergeant Woolly Pullover, Commodore Fleece Cardigan, Major Legger Mutton. And the P.O.R.K.S. are obviously named for just being pigs, i.e.-General Hamfat Lardo, Private Side O’Bacon, Sergeant Shoat N. Sweet, Captain Tusker Chitlins. The ammunition used in the show was farm foods like eggs and vegetables. So basically, the P.O.R.K.S. and R.A.M.S. were engaged in a big food fight.

WHY WE WATCHED: Just to pass the time. This was one of those shows that you looked and went “Well, I guess I’ll watch this.” Plus, who didn’t want to see pigs and sheep duking it out with military weapons and vehicles.

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Though the animated series lasted just 13 episodes, Barnyard Commandos is still remembered today because of it even though the cartoon was not successful. The war between the R.A.M.S. and P.O.R.K.S. was also another attempt to cash in on the Ninja Turtles with the whole “hazardous chemicals mutating animals in anthropomorphic beings.” Barnyard Commandos was similar to Mattel’s Food Fighters except the figures were non-poseable and made of soft, hollow plastic much like squeaky toys. They each include a weapon accessory that fastens onto the figure and a brief, humorous character description on the cardback. Clearly nowhere near as successful as TMNT, the Barnyard Commandos still will not be forgotten. The battle between the R.A.M.S. and P.O.R.K.S. will continue on in our haaab-earts and inds-may.

Barnyard Commandos gets a cheesy rating of:
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Barnyard Commandos Intro!!

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